By Carolyn Campbell
We all want to be wanted, whether it is in business or in a relationship. In my work, I often talk about ‘claiming’ your clients. Choosing clients who inspire you. Clients who bring out the best in you. What’s amazing is that when you do, those clients feel seen and heard in ways they often don’t even experience in their relationships. The work is more powerful and, as a result, more relationships follow.
A healthy business should be much like a healthy relationship—filled with clients, donors and volunteers who excite you. It will be far more satisfying and immensely more successful. I guarantee it.
When people seek out businesses or organizations of a transformative nature, this connection is even more vital. We often forget that forging these types of meaningful relationships is core to the change they are making in their life. Many nonprofits forget that most volunteers give their time to enrich their own personal being as well as to benefit the cause. And far too many small business owners forget that people rarely are truly heard, appreciated and given the straight talk.
I recently worked with a client who was doing everything he could to ‘get’ business. He offered packages that were so affordable that he was confident people would come in droves. He spent hours on the phone with potential clients offering them free advice, only to find out they went with someone else. When he did get a client, he’d provide far more than his contracts stipulated. He’d get angry that his clients took advantage of his time and then was surprised when they’d hire someone else for the next job. “I don’t get it, I’m the best there is,” he’d grumble. “This economy is destroying me.”
Was it? I started noticing a pattern. As we began to unpack the truth, it turned out that he had forgotten 3 key things.
1) Be curious. Start by engaging people in THEIR vision.
When people would call to ask what he did or what his services were, he’d describe what he does and why he is the best. You might think, “Of course he did. What else would he do?”
My suggestion: Make the first five minutes about them. When someone asks about what you do, ask them a question. Not to be manipulative, but to find out what they need. It’s not about you. Yes, you may think you’re the best (really?), but this is about them and their needs. Later, when you do speak about what you do, you can relate it directly to their specific needs.
Example for a nonprofit: someone calls to find out about volunteering.
You might ask them where they heard about you. Find out what drew them to your website or your work. This is a lovely way to begin to find out a bit about them. Once you do, you can tailor what you say to their needs.
Example for a small business (of any type):
When people ask what you offer, you might start by saying (in your own words), “I’d love to tell you about my work. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about what you’re looking for so I can share my work in relation to what you need?”
2) Acknowledge what they want. Name what you hear them needing.
As my client examined his pattern of connection, he realized that he was so sure he was the ‘best’ that he never took the time to find out what the person really wanted and where they were stumped. He’d create his own version of their ‘Disneyland of desire’ and never checked in to make sure it paralleled theirs. During the initial call, potential clients want to experience what it would be like to work with you. They want to know that you will listen to them, take time to really assess their needs, and have a solid approach to helping them.
3) Build trust by pairing caring with expertise.
Many of us never really learned how to create relationships. They sort of happened and we have clung to many out of habit. As we get older and need to create intentional relationships, it can be an immense challenge.
Once my client started to let people talk about their needs and really listen for what was missing, he could offer a solid, specific solution to their problem that addressed their real desires, rather than his need to affirm his own worth.
As he began to use these three principles, he found that the process of business building was much simpler and the results were far more positive. The best part for businesses and organizations: this commitment to inspire the best in yourself and serve the best in others will create a magnetic force of really awesome, inspired, life-long clients.